Life is so so good lately. I have an amazing family, live in an apartment that I love, have a job that I enjoy, am married to my best friend, and I don't have to worry about killing spiders or sleeping alone in the dark anymore! It's awesome. I'm so grateful for everything I have! But I have to admit that despite all of those wonderful things in my life, I can sometimes be a real big bummer. There are times when I get sucked into a very negative mindset. I'll wake up grumpy and the negative thoughts just keep feeding off of each other throughout the day. Connor calls me "grumpy pants" when I'm like this which usually makes me smile for a second before I go back to scowling.
I've noticed that my grumpy days are far more frequent when I've stopped doing certain things in my life that bring me joy. I'm still working on implementing these things into my daily life. I'm no pro or anything but I have tried and tested a lot of different things that supposedly bring happiness and the ones I'm about to list are some of my very favorites! So, here goes!
1. Create a Positivity Board
Buy a $10 white board at Walmart and start writing down your dreams, goals, favorite quotes, what you aspire to be, and affirmations that calm you down. Write down anything that will inspire you to stay positive and motivated. This board (and Connor) is the first thing I see when I wake up. Connor also likes to bring the board to me to look at whenever I'm being a "grumpy pants," which sounds like it would be annoying (like as bad as someone saying, "Calm down!") but it actually works wonders to read over my goals and the quotes that inspire me. The busyness and stress of life will drown out everything you believe in and want to work for if you don't have those daily written reminders to look at.
2. Spend Quality Time With Those You Care About
I'm really bad at this. I get so busy and that leads to me feeling stressed which leads to me putting quality time as a last priority. It's understandable that life can get so busy that it's hard to squeeze in a call to your mom or a game of Just Dance with your spouse, but try to make it one of your priorities. Get the things done that you NEED to get done, make alone time a priority (if you need that like I do) but also make quality time with someone you love a priority. Often a call to one of my family members or even a quick text to my little sister is exactly what I need to feel like my life is back on track. Most of the time this has a far more positive impact on me than checking another thing off of my to-do list. Keeping up with relationships is detrimental to our emotional and social health.
3. Start a Budget and Actually STICK TO IT
It's really easy to create a budget but it's WAY harder to actually stick to it. That's why it's important to be realistic when you're creating your budget. My husband and I recently made ours and we were brutally honest about what our priorities were and about how much we were willing to sacrifice in order to save for other important things. We're both pretty good with money but like everyone, we both have our weaknesses when it comes to money. His is spending on fast food. Mine is spending on journals and clothes. We came to the conclusion that one of our priorities is to travel and that in order to do that we would have to cut down on late night Taco Bell runs and I would have to actually start finishing my journals before I bought a new one. We had to decide what our needs, wants, priorities, and life goals were in order to make a budget that we will actually stick to.
4. Do Something that Will Make Someone Else Happy
I have a big problem with the idea that we should help people in order to make ourselves happy. But here I am writing the very idea on my blog. So here's how I'll justify it. Yes, doing things for others does make us happy but it shouldn't be the sole purpose for doing something kind for someone else. The focus should be on making the OTHER PERSON happy. Life can get so busy that we sometimes forget that we aren't the center of the universe. There are other people that are struggling that WE can help! There are little ways to help that still have a positive impact but sometimes it's important to spend time on the bigger things as well. A few of my goals in life are to help children in foster care and to help people in other countries who are the victims of sex trafficking. I can't help these people if I'm sitting on my bed being negative about how much homework I have or stewing about some petty drama at work. It's important that we make an effort to think about the more important things in life instead of the mundane or we won't ever make a difference in the world.
5. Spend Time Thinking Without Any Distractions
It's shocking to see how many people are on their phones in the line at the grocery store and in the airport terminals. I often wonder what in the world people did when they were waiting around "back in the day," when there were no cell phones. Did they actually talk to each other? Did they actually take the time to think without any distractions? They obviously survived without their phones. Personally, I feel as though my marriage, my personal relationship with myself, and my relationship with the world around me are strengthened when I'm not addicted to my phone. I'm ultimately SO much happier when I'm not having this itching feeling to look at who liked my pictures or who updated their Snapchat story. When my focus isn't on my phone I'm able to focus on the things that matter. My focus is on the real world and I'm more present and in the moment. Before I met Connor, I have to admit that I was a phone addict. My phone had complete control over me. I guess Connor's hotness and falling in love with him put me in some sort of trance because I actually started forgetting that I even had a phone. This proved to be a whole separate problem because I lost my phone more than I ever had in my life. But I would rather lose my phone than lose my relationships with the people I love most in life. I promise promise promise that you will be so much happier if you take the time to think on your own and take the time to spend quality time with those you love without any distractions. Your relationships including your relationship and love for yourself will be improved!
6. Your To-Do List Should Be Your Best Friend
I probably shouldn't say it "should" be your best friend because To-Do Lists just don't work for some people. Some could care less about crossing things off of a list as they get things done but I on the other hand live for it. Though...as I said earlier in this blog post, sometimes it is best to ditch the To-Do List and focus on more important things. And sometimes those important things can be put onto the To-Do list! Most of the time I've noticed that I feel so much more focused and motivated on the days that I have a To-Do list written out for the day. It doesn't mean those things are the only things I do that day or the first things I do that day but if I know that at some point I'd like to get them done, it gives my day some purpose. I love setting goals- both big ones and small ones. It's extremely satisfying. Especially because I use my this spiffy little To-Do List planner that I got at Target. I'm absolutely in love with it! As well as being my To-Do List it's also my emotional health tracker and appointment tracker. I love having everything in one place. I love seeing myself improve and get things done.
Well, that's all I have for you today! I hope you enjoyed my little tid-bits of advice and that they can help you in your life. Let me know if they bring you some of the same joy that they've brought to me!
Until next time,
Coral Allen
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